Life With ADHD Inattentive Kids
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ENCOURAGE your ADHD Child!Even though they're wonderful, our children often end up feeling less than perfect because they march to a different drummer. Help your child to develop and maintain a positive self image.
Pre-emptive Strikes~Right brained children often have a poor self image. Ninety-nine compliments are dismissed in the face of one criticism. They can't be talked out of the negative feelings. These children need to hear good things - in very specific terms - before they think or feel the bad. "I like the way you blocked when #7 had a shot on goal," works better than, "Great game, son!" It's No Mystery~Make sure your child understands his or her learning differences. Instead of just feeling stupid or lazy, a child will know the root of difficulties. They already know there is a problem, and will be relieved to be able to name the unknown thing. Dr. Mel Levine calls this demystification. On Your Marking...When your child is struggling in a particular subject, suggest that the teacher mark the correct answers rather than the incorrect ones. Checks are a lot more encouraging than x's! What's more important?~Allow your child time off for special trips or events, even if it means missing school. One of our sons 'skipped' school to go with my dad when he took my great-grandmother to see her first pro baseball game. Nothing he could have learned in school would have been more important than that experience! Overheard compliments are the best.~It is very important for your kids to hear you bragging about them to others. Think about the last time you overheard someone saying something good about you! There's no better confidence booster. On the flip side, when you have to discuss a problem about your child, make sure there is no way you can be overheard. Think about the last time you overheard someone making a negative remark about you. And he saw that it was good.~If your child has a poor self-image, have him keep a journal of his positive traits. Each day make an entry about a talent, a personality trait, an accomplishment, or something kind he has done. If he can't think of anything, write something for him. Chances are, he'll read it when you're not looking. Get It?~Humor can be a sticky problem for a child who marches to a different drummer. If your daughter has trouble 'getting' jokes, make a point to explain them to her - in private. On the other hand, if your child has a habit of repeating jokes that aren't funny to anybody but her, help her to understand that if people don't laugh the first time, they most likely aren't going to laugh the second time. Encourage her to save the joke and tell it to you later, and do your best to appreciate her wit, which may just be too sophisticated for her peers. Pay per Brag~When on vacation, we give our children a quarter every time someone gives our family a compliment. We also fine them for using offensive language (like f-a-r-t), burping, complaining, or squabbling. Thankfully, they usually stay in the black! See How They've Grown~If you have a book or a keepsake box for your child, occasionally go through it with her. We always do this on our kids' birthdays. It helps them to remember special times, see how much they've grown, and see how talented they were, even as little ones. Can You Rephrase That?~This week, make a point to listen to yourself correcting your child. Try to remember to correct and not criticize. Instead of saying, "Your room is a wreck!" try "I need your clothes off the floor, the bed made, and the trash emptied in fifteen minutes." Replace "How many times do I have to tell you…." with "I'm going to remind you one more time…." We'll never be the Brady parents, (and not just because we don't have Brady children and a maid) but we can all benefit from awareness of how we sound to our kids. Turn it Off and Turn it On~Occasionally, turn off the radio and CD player while you are driving, and have conversation with your child. The car eliminates the possibility of eye contact, and sometimes this makes your child open up more - especially about sensitive subjects. Hold on tightly to the wheel; I've almost had accidents because of some of the shocking questions my boys have asked! Get Published!~It's no secret that many children with ADHD are very creative. If your older child is gifted in art or in creative writing, visit the Fridge Door Gallery, and consider submitting your child's work. Hello Darling~Boost your child's self esteem by making a habit to pair their name with a positive adjective. "Hello, wonderful Anna." "Sweet Jack, I need you in the kitchen." "Look at this problem, beautiful child." I use this technique when I work with children who have behavioral challenges, and it makes a world of difference. You're An Einstein!~Rumor has it that Albert Einstein had to be reminded to put on his shoes (which he couldn't tie) before he left his office. Einstein is one of many famous and successful people who displayed symptoms of ADHD. Check out this list, and show your children what great company they are in! It Isn't Me!~Roger had always been a straight A student, but toward the end of ninth grade, the grades began to slip. Halfway through the tenth grade, he was failing several classes. His parents tried everything from restrictions to supervised study to expensive tutoring sessions. Nothing worked. Roger's self esteem plummeted, and he began exhibiting physical symptoms of stress. Finally, his parents took him to a psychologist, whose evaluation eventually led to a diagnosis of ADHD inattentive. "He's so relieved!" his mother told me. The problem wasn't named Roger, it was called ADHD.
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Keep Your Child ORGANIZED at School! Check out our PAC-kit, a Planner, Agenda, and Calendar designed especially for ADHD Inattentive kids! Learn more here!
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